July 16, 2006

The Long Hollywood Gurgle

'Way back in the mid-nineties, when even chipper optimists like your friend the goon had all but concluded that Amrican popular culture was taking a header into the toilet (along with everything else of value in this remnant of a 'civilization') something odd happened. A bunch of young Hollywood directors started making very good popular films. With real-life (albeit talentless) American actors. And other people's money, which had apparently - get this - been invested in these works, rather than merely stolen.

Today in a masochistic frame of mind I was using my Google bookmark as a proverbial pointy stick, poking around on various entertainment websites in search of some vestiges of life amongst the carcasses. The following is a list of the 'projects' currently being undertaken by the gifted young artists behind those 'nineties films that I dared to enjoy:

David Fincher..................... Zodiac (serial killer movie)
Bryan Singer........................ Superman Returns
Joss Whedon....................... Wonder Woman
David Twohy....................... (nothing)

So what does our great nation demand from its most gifted and profitable young storytellers? Pictures of people in spandex underwear and stories of folks who kill (and preferably eat) other people. And, oh yeah, NOTHING.

Back to the ivory tower, stifling a groan.