May 04, 2006

The Bunk Files, Entry #3: The Social Sciences

A PLATONIC DIALOGUE

Dramatis Personae

Noesus - A Social Sciences Professor
Publius - A wealthy lobbyist-turned-politician.

***

Noesus: The income gap in this country has risen by 17% in the past thirty years! Youth literacy is in steady decline! The incidence of violent crime in cities whose names begin with the letter "R" has quadrupled since the last outbreak of Avian Flu! Crack-smoking is on the rise amongst single Asian mothers of triplets! Dental hygiene is deteriorating amongst two thirds of Americans who can no longer afford to buy penicillin for their children!

Clearly, there is only one way out of the crisis: we must put the wealth of this great nation to work! We must reform our system of taxation in such a way as to redistribute essential goods and services so that they benefit the least advantaged!

Publius: Fuck off.

Noesus: Sorry! So very sorry...

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